I've been debating whether to post anymore.  I've been pretty depressed about my situation lately.  The baby is officially due and aside from some painless pre-labor contractions, he is still settled in snugly for as long as possible. 

There haven't been many patients for the evening shift, so I've barely been working.  Only about 12 hours two weeks ago and 7 hours last week.  Today I'm officially only maternity leave with no baby to show for it.  My type of work doesn't allow me to pop in as available, so I guess I'm done until August.

People tell me to relax and enjoy the time off, but I've had too much of that.  I've watched a ton of TV and movies while resting and knitting.  I've sewed, shopped, re-organized, and cleaned.  I've had three massages.  I've taken Jem for walks and met Ben at his office for lunch.  The worst part is being home alone for so much time.

I also feel pressured to get the birth over.  Everyone is anxious about it, even my neighbor.  My friends are moving in two days so now they probably won't get to meet our baby.  My family is likely to visit this weekend and I'm worried I'll have no one to show them.  Of course, no one is actually mean about it, and all give me encouragement and understanding that he'll probably be late.  Meanwhile, I'm chewing through my maternity leave, cutting down on time I'll actually get to spend with the baby.  Every morning I wake up and see my giant belly and feel like a failure. 

Waiting waiting waiting.

The weekend was really nice.  Ben took me to Boulder to hang out.  Then yesterday he took me to the foothills to walk around and picnic.  Here's a shot of my big bad 40 week self.  But now that I'm back to the weekly grind, I don't know what I'll do to keep busy.  I already did the dishes, swept the floors, took Jem around the block, re-organized the baby clothes, emptied my google reader, and blogged, and it's only 10:30.  Waiting waiting waiting.

"Yup, I'm pregnant"
"In about a week."
"Yeah, pretty ready for him to come."
"Yes, it's a boy."
"Yeah, it's my first."
Yes, it IS pretty exciting."
"Yeah, I'm tall.  I guess I carry it well.  Believe me, I'm plenty big." 

It's not that I'm annoyed with having the same conversation over and over.  It's just a very boring conversation that I could self-direct.  But I'm polite and wait for the other person to prompt me with questions. 

I'm so. ready. for him to come.  My calendar has been exhausted.  Last week I had many fun things and errands on my to do list.  I got my car AC fixed, bought cloth diapers with Miranda, bought some new yarn, started a new baby sweater, made some Book of Mormon costumes for my mom's project, got a massage, went to a small nursing class reunion, had maid service (thank you, Mom!), added to the nursery, and got my house to the point where it doesn't feel like a disgusting pit of neglect.  I even cooked dinner a couple times and made angelfood cake with lemon curd!  So yeah, my pain is a lot better and I completely credit it to being able to rest away from work.  I only worked 8.5 hours last week.  I wouldn't mind a little more, but I'll take too little over too much. 

However, this week?  Completely blank.  Aside from an OB appointment and a couple evening activities that I might have to miss because of work anyway, I have nothing to look forward to.  Sure, there's little things here and there that I can do to fill my days.  I'm pretty skilled at killing time.  But seriously?  Let's just move on and get this baby in the world.

Remember this post?  Where I pine over sweaters at Anthropologie?  Well this week the cast of Glee wore TWO of them.  Emma wore the left one and Quinn wore the right one.  

And now I can't find them on the Anthro website.  I think they never made it to the sale section.  Boo!  I have a gift card from Christmas that I haven't spent yet, what with my changing belly.  I read that women who have just given birth should be required to go out and buy two new outfits right away to make them feel pretty again.  I like this idea very much.  Any volunteers to drive me to Cherry Creek and hold my baby while I shop?

Here is what a good day at daycare looks like:

Her daycare posted another video of her that you can watch here or below. 

We had a leaky faucet in the bathroom and bought a replacement for it over a month ago.  Finally got around to installation and could not get the old drain out of the sink.  We called a plumber and the estimate I got today was $380.56.  Three hundred and eighty dollars???  That's absurd! Is there anyone out there who is handy with plumbing and good at working in tight spaces with no visibility?

The hip pain is as bad as ever.  Tylenol, massage, heat/cold packs, swimming, narcotics, and physical therapy have done nothing to help me work through the pain.  I haven't been to work in 7 days, the longest break I think I've had except for Christmas.  My doctor and PT said they supported me in stopping work altogether.  My manager accepted my offer to continue working but with drastically reduced hours.  I told them I could do 4-6 hour shifts, 3 times a week, with a day off in between each to rest.  I haven't gotten the new schedule yet but I hope they send it to me today.  I also hope that I can work at least that much.  Walking is very painful and so the hardest part is getting into the hospital and up to our unit to start the shift.  Once there I think I'll be ok.  This lovely back brace helps me a little bit.  It's not an SI-specific brace, but a basic maternity support belt.  I wish I had bought a month earlier for when I was in New York. 

So basically I sit at home and rest.  This means lots of TV and movies while I craft.  I'm almost done with the sweater vest.  I became obsessed with these dahlias and made four.  I'd make more but I'm out of hot glue :-( 

I also very slowly attempt to clean the house.  Today I have managed to wipe down the kitchen and dining room counters, sweep the kitchen, and started laundry.  Oaf.  It took several minutes for me to drag the laundry basket into the basement, but I made it! 

This weekend was fun because it was Amanda's school play!  My parents came to visit to see the show.  We had an awesome dinner at Virgilios, my favorite pizzeria.  Saturday morning Ben and I attended an "express" childbirth class from my OB's office.  Overall it was worthwhile, but we could have done fine with an extra-express course.  Also I think it might have just scared Ben more than helped him.  But it prompted some good discussion and we feel more prepared to tackle labor together as a team now. 

After class we went to the mountains to see the show.  The kids did such a good job!  I'm very impressed with how they pulled it all together in the last couple weeks.  Amanda is an amazing director and I can't wait to see what else she can get these naive mountain kids to do!  (The photo is from dress rehearsal last week)  I think it's funny how proud they were to have a "choreographer from Denver!"  I'm the big-time ;-)

After the show we all went back to our condo in Bailey for the night.  Mom cooked a delicious dinner and Jem went crazy smelling the strange house.  We woke up Sunday to beautiful views of endless evergreens.  This deer was in our driveway!  Mom made another great breakfast including nitrite-free bacon!  Oh heaven, I have missed bacon!  Late morning they started their drive back to GJ and Ben and I made the short drive home.  It was fun to have a little sleepover out of town. (credit Ben for the photo, more on his flickr account). 

So now you're all caught up with my life!  I'm 37 weeks now and technically "term."  Kickpuncher has given no indication that he wants to come out (no braxton-hicks contractions, no lightening), but I'm hoping it's sooner rather than later.

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We went to Belmar Ponds to take some huge belly pictures. They turned out pretty nice, although I look really tired in them. Ben is a great photographer and I love that he’s enthusiastic about going on photo shoots with me. There’s more pictures in his flickr photo set, follow the link above.