After 20 minutes of fussing I couldn't figure out what he needed.  So I let him fall asleep on my shoulder.  I guess that's what he needed.  :-)

Ben and Jack, at 3 weeks and 2 days old, on Father's Day. This is also the first time Jack has smiled in response to our voices and faces (instead of just after eating or burping). What a moment to catch! I had a hard time picking my favorite photo, so check out the others on Ben's photostream.

Dude, you can order Qdoba nachos with the chips on the side, so they
don't get soggy. We're getting a fathe'rs day lunch before going to a
family-hosted baby shower.

I'm trying to do little things to feel normal again. During his morning nap yesterday I baked cookies. This recipe that Miranda pointed me to makes the BEST cookies. I can't stop eating them.  I even cooked dinner once this week.  It was a nice change to have freshly prepared, home-cooked food. 

I have a wild garden this year.  I haven't done a single thing to it, not even watered.  This lone iris is blooming.  My clematis is ready to burst.  Most of my herbs came back - mint, sage, thyme, lemon balm, and lavender.

Jealous of my mother's birdfeeder, I had her get one for me last November.  Despite it being "squirrel proof, squirrels had been emptying it fast all winter.  You can see one hanging off the fence in this snowy picture. 
I found a spot outside that's a little harder for the squirrels to get to and in return I have beautiful red finches in my window all day.  The birds are camera shy, so I only got this blurry picture.  Molly is VERY interested in the backyard lately. That squirrel is pissed that I let her out there.  He's barking at her from the roof now. 

I slept a whopping 6 hours last night!  (split into two 3 hours chunks)  So far Jack is doing pretty good with our routine and I'm feeling a lot better than I did the last couple days.  But I won't throw any confetti yet.

I went to a free lactation support group this morning, followed by a "Survival for New Moms" group.  They meet weekly for just $5, you get to have a lesson, talk to the nurses, and meet other new moms.  Today we learned infant massage.  I learned some tummy swooping moves that are supposed to be good for digestion.  While practicing Jack let out some good poop, so I guess they work!  I'll have to try them the next time he gets fussy from gas.  I talked with a couple other girls about our boys and cloth diapering (it seems to be the hot topic among mothers these days).  Jack was the youngest baby by 3 weeks. Not sure if I'll go regularly, but it's a nice option to have around.  They were a nice group and I signed up for their e-mail list. 

By the way, I need to pat myself on the back for going to this group.  This required getting up at SEVEN AM to get myself showered and dressed and Jack ready to go out the door by 9:20.  And I wore MASCARA and EARRINGS.  Like a normal adult woman.  Alright, alright, I admit it.  I wore my maternity stretch jeans.  They are just too comfy! At least I wore real pants and a button-up shirt instead of sweat pants and a T shirt.  Also, I had to talk to STRANGERS in a casual, friendly-type way.  Pat pat pat pat.

During the lactation support portion (which is free!) they weighed Jack and looked at his latch.  He's still hurting me, we think he's just squishing down his mouth too hard while sucking.  We weighed before and after feedings and determined he ate about 3.5 ounces, a good amount for his size.  His weight was 9 pounds 8 ounces - finally got back to his birth weight and then some!

(This second picture shows how he was fascinated by the fluorescent lights during the group.)

Ben is back to work this week, leaving me alone with Jack every day.  Yesterday we went to Fort Collins to visit Kristin.  She has a busy week with both her birthday and her due date!  It was great seeing her and Jenni for lunch.  But this meant a long drive with Jack and being away from the house for most of the day.  Despite him deciding he was hungry right when my food arrived, and then letting his poop leak out of his diaper onto my pants in the restaurant, we survived! 

Kristin lent me a book called Babywise.  I haven't read any parenting books yet but I think it was time.  Jack's feedings are chaotic and unpredictable.  I basically feed on demand.  I'm always anxious about when he next need me and feel incompetent about how to care for him all day.  Last night I got only 4 hours of sleep, split up throughout the night.  This book has a simple flexible plan that they recommend.  Apparently I was doing a lot wrong.  I'm going to try to enforce their "feed - waketime - naptime" routine and stop nursing him to sleep, except at night.  I haven't done any "naptimes" yet, just letting him sleep when it happens.  Today I put him down twice and he cried mightily.  But in less than 5 minutes he fell asleep.  Huh.  It worked.  With any luck we can both work out a routine that works for him, so I can feel more in control and less anxious.